idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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