Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
