I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
