A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
