So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
