How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
