Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
