Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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