The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
