are you still at the devil's house?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
