You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the condom got lost in my hair
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
