I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
