I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
