How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
