If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
