The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
