Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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