Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
