i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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