You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
