Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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