You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
