At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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