Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize