you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
