Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
