he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
