I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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