ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
