If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
