Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
