OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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