I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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