oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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