party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
