all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
