I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
