An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
