is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
