something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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