I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
