We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
