Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
