How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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