if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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