the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
