I swear she didn't look like that last week.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
