I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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