PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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