are you so shy because you have an std?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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