I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
